Ala Eh!

You can always take a wide lens and peek through your life. It can’t capture what’s beyond the horizon but you can always try to imagine things and colors to complete the backdrop. Have you imagine your last days comforting yourself on a rocking chair talking to the ceiling, to the wall, or maybe to rats and birds and wishing you have a magic candle that can change yourself when lighted? Ha ha ha, no such thing, o yeah in fairy tales. Just in case the ceiling ask you, “Did you have a happy life?”, “Are you living your life as you’ve imagined it?” or “Are you with the person you’ve wanted to grow old with?”, it may not demand the answer but it may tell you, “in the end, it doesn’t really matter, love your family and take all the chance to be happy, make sure you’re not hurting anybody”. Yeah, listen to yourself and it will be all right.

The other day I remembered those poems Milang wrote long time ago, digging through all those old organizers i found it again. Reading it always recall the same lonely feelings I felt the first time I read it. I asked permission to share it here, she said “no”, but she’s not pointing any guns or any arms at me, so I take it as “yes”, ha ha ha.

Will Mr. Right Come??

When I was just a child
And I first learned the meaning of love
I thought of having to share this love
With someone from our place
He must be a childhood friend
Someone who knows my ups and downs as a kid
Someone who had teased me ‘til I shed tears
But most especially, someone who knows how to make me laugh
The hands of time had run so fast
Without me realizing that my childhood days had come to its end
And when no one seems to realize that I exist
I then ask myself
Will Mr. Right come?

When I became a teenager
My perception of Mr. Right somehow changed
I would choose for a partner
Someone who is tall, dark and handsome
As well as somebody who is strong as Superman
But when I cannot find someone like I defined Mr. Right
I then ask myself
Will Mr. Right come?

When the (right) time for me to get married came
And I have nobody special
I thought of once again changing the image of Mr. Right
He doesn’t anymore have to be tall, dark and handsome
Or someone who is strong as Superman
But rather a man in the truest sense of the word
But so many years had passed
And still nobody came
I once again asked myself
Will Mr. Right come?

And now that I am at the last days of my life
Spending my time in my rocking chair
I came to the point of giving it up
Because I know that there will never be a Mr. Right for me
But at the back of my mind
There is still that hunting question
Will Mr. Right come?

- carms dec ’95 –